Late at Night

When it is this late and I am still awake or awake again, I wonder what it is, in the Grand Cosmic Scheme of things, that I ever did or said to deserve this....? I just can't fathom......nor can I be thankful enough that I am getting great medical care, over and over. I have been pretty flip about it but I know that my Surgeon had his hands full and did a lot of work. But its 2:30 a.m. again.....and here I sit with the infomercials and wait for sleep to come back....~sigh~...

I think my new sign off has to be 'Wah, Wah, Wah' instead of XOXOXO - AL
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Lesser of Two Evils?

Which is worse when you can't sleep? Waking up at 2:30 a.m. and then tossing and turning for a couple hours......or sleeping from 1 to 5:45 and then laying here awake in the wee hours watching a new day dawning?

There's only Sham-WoW commercials in the middle of the night but waking up before 6 makes for needing a nap around noon....ruins the whole day. Wah, Wah, Wah....I'm at it again.

XOXOXOXO - Anne
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Need a Rest

SO glad it is the weekend. My arm hurts, I have a headache and even though I have a laptop to work on, my back hurts from slumping over.....are you starting to get the feeling that I am just a whiner? (I am). XOXOXOXO - AL
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Back to Work.....

Went back to the office today. Carolyn hooked me up with a laptop that runs through my desktop and it seems to have worked out pretty well today.....I was a bit tired by about 1 and my arm started to ache pretty steady about 3....I made it all the way to 4 and I had to bail out. I got home at 4:25 and took a big pill and got an ice pack....ouch, ow, ouch! Needs a little time to kick in....

But wanted to say, I got back to work and hopefully, I will feel a little better every day. XOXOXOX- AL

oh....the Drama goes on

Today I went to see Dr. Stein, aka Dr. Hottie. Traffic was surprisingly light for all the warnings of mass confusion with the Metro wreck last night...BUT I forgot my camera so there are no new pictures for this visit...sniff...sniff

I had another very nice visit to College Park to see Dr. Hottie. We checked in with Hope and went to Exam Room 2, a new treat! We've always had Exam Room 1 before. Had a lovely new x-ray that shows some very thin whisps of white 'fluff' (highly technical terminology) that look to be propagating thru the gap to form new bone...the graft material is still hanging there around the 'fix' helping it along. I have to admit, I was hoping to see a more definitive connection....I guess I think I am still young enough to heal in that 6 to 8 week window that everyone seems to quote.

The term for the problem with the previous repair of the broken humerus work is called nonunion'....and no, that does not mean I haven't paid my teamsters dues, it means a failure of the bone to heal back together at the break. The titanium rod that I had installed on the 1st surgery, Sept 25, never really allowed the break to heal....and now....all these months later, I have a smaller piece of hardware with many more screws and a better shot at a solid repair,
if my old bones will just cooperate!

Dr. Hottie, he knows I love him...he's just so damn cute and even in the face of my taunting and teasing, he is professional and I have the utmost faith in his ability, I'm just worried I am too old and have crappy bones that won't heal. So, six more weeks in the sling, only allowed to work on this old laptop (much to Sean's chagrin-it's his), due to the mousepad instead of a regular mouse and a lower, smaller keyboard....I emailed Carolyn at work to see if there is one I can use at the
office so I can go back to the office even if I need to find a chair with a coffee table-style set up. I miss the kids the kids at work.....who knew? The office interaction is a big part of my day, plus I need to learn the new software for the sourcer/recruiters, so I can start helping more with that.

The long term prognosis is still good...but it may be as long as 6 months before we know if the surgery for the break was a complete success...Remember....I am a BIG SHOULDER SURGERY according to Dr. Hottie and Dr. Happy Hour!! As if there was any other way to be....!?!?!? XOXOXOXO - AL

Worrying about Tomorrow...

my arm hurts and I am worried about going to the doctor tomorrow. I am
scared there is something wrong or going wrong. I know it didn't hurt this
much in the 'break' area the first time out and that is making me nervous....
besides, there are those little stabbing pains and lots of numbness
involved...need a prayer that everything is healing ok and this nightmare
is almost over.

I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow afternoon or so.

XOXOXOXOXOX- AL

It's my Anniversary

Exactly nine months ago today, I left the house early with my helper (Sean) to go scrape and repaint the wrought iron on the sign that has become my downfall....we had our supplies, we had our ladder, took the Rendezvous to make sure it all fit....then, an hour into the mission, karma bit me in the ass. Ok, so, maybe I should have heeded the advice of the ladder (Do NOT Stand above This Step...and THIS IS NOT A STEP) and maybe stayed off my toes while on said non-step but I digress....that is all ancient history now....the only thing left is the telling of the tale and the sling I am still sporting on my arm.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe this is some kind of penance for mis-deeds done in my reckless (or maybe feckless) youth??!?!? ~Sigh~ God could have gone with some retribution earlier for all that, no? When I was younger and could heal better??? No slack for the formerly wicked? Well, the rain makes my shoulder hurt, the hot tub makes it feel better, sleep is elusive and uncomfortable and I am I crabby, tired of being tired and ready to be healed! Who would think I miss going to work, working from here is boring.....

Post op with Dr. Hottie will be the highlight of the week. Will update after I see him on Tuesday!!
XOXOXOX - AL

Tingling....and not in a good way

...well, i might call it more like 'nerve stabbings' but this unusual phenomena has started happening at different times and it is like a brief stabbing-stinging feeling on the inside of my arm near the elbow joint....could the nerves be re-generating themselves? It previously was numb and now at the weirdest times, I will yell 'ouch' because it is almost like a little electrical shock....very strange....anyone know what that's about?

I went for my first foray into the hot tub last night....achy muscles felt so good when I was done. I have missed that little bit of relaxation time to myself....no one else wanted to go outside, too much surfing on the web to be done. I jumped in the shower after and climbed into bed and slept for almost 3 hours straight! Damn near a record at this point....didn't even stay up to watch Conan....maybe tonight. XOXOXOXO - AL

Has it really been that long?

Getting ready to celebrate a wedding anniversary...mine......well, mine and Pat's. We will hit 30 years on Monday. I must have been hit in the head somewhere along the line to have been married this long and have only a vague idea that so many years have passed....selective memory? Or has it just been that much fun that time has flown past and I didn't even know it? Who thought I'd have a kid out of high school and one going in? Pat's a good guy, he has been putting up with some pretty temperamental crap from me since September when this all started....kudos to him for not killing me by now. (and it's not because I am not worth more alive either)

Shoulder has been hell for a few days now. Only feels better when I am in bed with it propped up and pain killers are on board...running about a 3.5 on the pain scale (That's the pouty face) and only had one night of full sleep (full means only getting up to medicate) this week. Wonder if I will ever have a real sleep pattern again. If you sleep crappy for 10 months to a year, does that become a habit??? Or at some point, perhaps I will return to 'normal' (using the term loosely)?????

It's Saturday and it's time for a big pill....night. XOXOXO - AL

Shoulder's afire

Back to work this week but man, oh man....mousing makes my shoulder feel like it's on fire. I'm not sure if it is because I have the super sling on and I have to lift the whole arm to move the mouse around or what but OMG....by the late afternoon, it hurts! I even emailed 'Athena, the Greek Goddess' to whine to someone who has to listen (it's her job)...

Here is a current picture of my glamorous self. I know, ggggrrrrrr, that animal print night shirt really does for you, doesn't it? I haven't cut my hair, that is my Pebbles Flintstone pony tail on top of my head....keeps the hair off my neck and out of my brace.....and that's some brace, huh? Betcha wish u had one too?!?!

I shared the following story with Athena today....when I saw Dr. Hottie for my post-op on May 26th, he wrote me a 'script for pain meds. I took that to the pharmacy this weekend to get it filled. The pharmacist asked me "which one of these guys is your doctor?" and all I could think of was Dr. Hottie.....there are like 8 or 10 names on the Rx pad....about 30 seconds later I came up with Stein, Jason Stein (said it like Bond, James Bond)....I guess I should lose the habit of assigning random nicknames to people....~sigh~time to act normal? No freakin way....!! Pass the Percocet.....XOXOXOXOXO - AL

Ouch...working at a desk hurts

Graduation Weekend from Hell.......Sean Graduated on Saturday from Saint Mary's and Colleen did the same from Rockville High on Tuesday...parties on Saturday and lunch out on Tuesday and very little pain meds on board.....means sore arm, sore shoulder, sore tempered Mom!


I made it back to the office on Wednesday June 3 and it hurts.....hurts to move the mouse around and as much as i have adjusted up and down the chair and the mouse, I can't seem to find a good spot. I complained about the laptop and the little mouse pad that is built in but if you have limited movement of a hand, that little bitty pad makes it really easy to handle the mousing part of the computer work....but I can hang with it for most of the day and then I have been leaving early to go home and take a big pill to stop the spasms in my shoulder blade.....ouch.

But the bright side is tomorrow is Friday and then I have a few days off to rest and whine at home....The tingles are about the same but might have spread a bit....the front half of the arm is still numb but the area where the original break was/is in my upper arm is still pretty sore...like bruised sore....although the biggest bruise is down to a puky yellow color now....nothing else new for now......XOXOXOXOXO - AL

Healing Continues

Well, here's the new look....The first shot is the shoulder incision and it is looking good....a little sore still but the divot that appeared after the infected stitch (or whatever it was) came out after the 2nd surgery is not there any more. It has some peely skin but the underneath bit is nice and smooth. It looks like one long scar but it is really 2 cuts one after the other.




This pic and the one after are the new cut on the back of my arm. That is where the new plate was put in to fix the break that didn't heal with the titanium rod, aka 'Nail'. Dr. Stein had to go fishing to thread my nerve (the main one that runs down your arm) out of the scar tissue and free it to heal again and hopefully the break will too.


This is almost the same shot but you can see the puckers a little better....those are from the staples and when the little scabs that are there dry up and come off, it will start getting dosed with some Bio-Oil or Maderma Scar Ointment or something....I'm not too vain but I will try to give it a little help to look a bit better.



And Since I have been such a good camper and I have been wearing my sling
and behaving like a good patient, Big Daddy Ledger let me get my pedicure updated so at least my toes look groovy....I got a French so it just looks fresh and clean.....I do love the pampering of getting my feet done....it's my favorite thing. These are my toes pictured up against Sam, my Shitz-a-Poo (cocker-poo/Shiz Tsu mix) my personally coined phrase for my mutt...but I love my little Sammy-Sam....he sleeps in the small of my back and keeps me warm. After all three surgeries, he has spent endless hours laying with me on the bed and worrying about me....and licking my cotton blanket....he has some kind of a fetish. Freaky little dog!!

I'm out for now....XOXOXOXOXOXOXO AL